Happy June

Do you ever get that feeling in your stomach as you're trying to eat that nothing you're eating tastes good and it's just causing your stomach to feel really bad? Like you have a bad stomach ache or acid reflux and you can barely gag down your food. That is what I'm feeling like currently on my lunch break, usually when I get this feeling it is because something is triggering my anxiety which makes sense. It's the first of the month and bills are due, so money is a big stressor for me right now; also I can't help but feel that something terrible is going to happen...so, you know, that's great. Chances are though that I am just tired and need a day off, which will come Sunday. Not soon enough in my opinion.

One thing that I know for sure that I will need no matter what job I take next is that I will need someday off on a consistent base. Preferably on the weekend...in fact, I would LOVE to have weekends off, and to work a normal set schedule.

For today's reflection, we are going back to 2009

Monday, June 1st, 2009

Still feel like shit but now I feel like shit on drugs, G'damn. I woke up at 9am and went to school so I could work on my purse. I'd love to finish it tomorrow but I won't hold my breath. I'm so glad that I'm only working a 4-hour shift today, I hope I get another Red Card today. I really want to feel better NOW! I hate being sick! God, I can't wait until tomorrow, walking downtown, not having to work. Niceness. 

So my $20 in Red Card stuff was spent wisely. I got air fresheners, nail strengthener, cough and throat drop, "gourmet" cat food for Jack, and milk and eggs. Man, I'm so happy that I have the day off tomorrow! I'm almost tempted to do my laundry now, maybe I'll do a load when I'm done with my bath. 

There was a guest who came through my line wearing an awesome Boondock Saints T-shirt, it just SCREAMED Roger* I should have asked where he got it because something tells me that I would have gotten it for him, anonymously though. I don't know why but I've been thinking about him a lot which is super unnerving because I don't really like the guy that much. Weird. 

Saw Cera* today, she looks so good! She lost a lot of weight. Now I know if she can do it, I can do it! She said she ate 5 small meals a day and did a lot of exercises. Okay, I'll do that. Goddess PLEASE help me with whatever it takes to lose this weight!

*Names have been changed


Well as I've mentioned in previous posts, weight loss has been an issue I've had for well over a decade. Although "Cera" was right, 5 small meals a day and lots of exercises usually do the trick. I'm counting my calories using the MyFitnessPal app and trying to hit the gym at least 4 days a week. Today will be day 4 if I can make it, provided my stomach doesn't betray me.

I use to work at Target for about 6 years, which explains the whole "Red Card" B.S. Loved working there throughout high school and college but honestly couldn't stand the whole conversion on how many red cards you got and having to sign people up for that shit. One thing I know for sure, retail is not the industry for me. It's a best, an okay filler while I figure out what my next step is. I'm amused by my thoughts of "Roger", the same guy I mentioned in my Virginia Woolf blog. Glad nothing came from that.

Well time to get back to work.
Until next time, do something that makes you smile
-J