2009

Today's reflection is from the same journal as the one from yesterday. It's a lot longer and a very sporadic compared to my other entries thus far.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Tuesday, glorious Tuesday! Lindsey* woke me up this morning. We stopped at County Market and I finally cashed in my paycheck. We went to Micky D's for breakfast, I paid for her of course, then we stopped at SPASH so I could work on my purse and of course, Mrs. Case* was busy doing something else. I'd been fine waiting and working longer but Lindsey* was with me and I wanted to get going on my other stuff, like laundry and feeding the ducks moldy bread. 

We went to the library and I got a new book, then we went to Radio Chaos and I spent $30 on NIN CDs. I got The Downward Spiral which I've been wanting for a very long time and also Ghosts I-IV which is all instrumental. 

I just got home from a bike ride to the cemetery. Yay for me for being active! Now I just need to eat something small... 

I'm watching Tomb Raider, my favorite movie. I might be Linsey's* DD tonight. I sorta hope she finds someone else just because I don't want to be out all night but eh, I suppose if she really needs me... 

Well, guess who just got ANOTHER scholarship! Granted it seems like it's the one that I got from FCE but I got 2 letters and it says that it's worth $250 and my FCE one is worth $100... So I hope it's a new one and since I have 2 letters it's both $250 each. Too bad my mom never bothered giving me that letter, I found it by the back door... Whatever.

I think I'm going to crochet myself a hat because I'm bored and I want to make something. 

So apparently you can bartend and serve alcohol at 18 but you can't be in or sit at a bar until you're 21 - fucking lame! So now I just have to wait for Lindsey* to call when she's ready to quit for the night. I did finish the hat I started today, it's huge so I think I screwed up but it looks like the hats that are in indie fashion... 

I need to stop fantasizing about Roger*, really I do! It's bad for one's health! Really the guy is... who am I kidding, do I really even HAVE a type? He's nothing like the other guys I use to like, he's narcissistic, and has a HUGE freaking ego, can't possibly stand me and is far too skinny for his own damn good. Plus he has rat-like qualities and features. AND let us not forget who is the older sister is. Yes, Makenzie the bitch, can't fucking STAND her! In fact, the only person I can stand in that family is the youngest one because she's so sweet. Why oh why OH WHY DO I KEEP THINKING ABOUT HIM!? Why do I keep playing these stupid fucking scenarios in the back of my mind over and over again? UGH! Kissing him was such a mistake, even though it WAS scripted. Ug,h I can only wish he's this crazy as I am, but I know he's not because he as the wonderfully badass Vanessa* to occupy his mind...God, I need to find myself a playmate. 

*Names have been changed


Jesus, I forgot how hung up I was on this "Roger" kid. It really makes me laugh now, glad I got over him quickly. To think this was all happening when I was just 18 years old puts things into perspective as far as emotional growth and development. I really was an angsty teenager.

Nine Inch Nails (NIN) is still one of my favorite bands and Ghosts I-IV is one of my favorite albums to listen to when I can't sleep or when I want some quiet music in the background.

My writing style within this post and in future posts is a bit all over the place, almost like I have ADD and can't seem to focus on what I'm writing. It's very much a play-by-play on my daily life. The deep thinking with more serious inner reflections doesn't come into practice until much later, and I guess that makes sense because usually as we grow we become more emotionally mature in nature.

Well that's all I have for today, my lunch hour is in its final minute.

Hope you are having a great Saturday. Get out and do something nice for someone else.

Until next time, smile.

-J